And at that moment, it feels like all these faces would always be here
It feels like the singing and dancing will never end
Soon the crowd disappears leaving me, mama and papa alone
At least I still have them, their warmth and care
But gradually, I begin to understand the ways of men
The paths of life
And suddenly, I am in confusion…
Here is mum and dad still, a few siblings and the crowd once in a while
But deep down, I feel alone, I know I am alone
Can no one understand me?
Can no one relate with my inner struggles?
This is so overwhelming ...
I need to find my own way
I need to find answers somehow
I need someone who understands?
But is there really anyone?
Growing up I had serious identity crisis and confusions over several issues and it was like I was in a maze…no way out. Many years later, I’m helping teenagers and young adults find their way out of same situation and one of them says to me
“Aunty, please can you tell me something…how you do it?
How do you look so glowing, like you have no problems?
How do you stay in tune with God for long?
Sometimes when I look at you, I see what I can become in future
But it’s like nothing is right”
When I saw the message, I smiled because I know it hasn’t always been like this. I mean, I’m sure when I was her age I was more confused than she is now. At this point, it seems like things go wrong more often than they go right.
Many times, we tend to find ourselves in this situation especially as teenagers or young adults, we come to cross roads and some of us decide to hide our confusion, pain and concerns by pretending to be what we are not, or by shrinking into our shells much as we can to avoid preying eyes for fear of being judged or misinterpreted. Well that makes life really lonely don't you think?
With every man struggling through peculiar situations, we must keep in mind that indeed, there is nothing new under the sun. When we come to the point of uncertainty and deep feeling of loneliness, we must realize that every tree in the forest stands alone but is not independent as it depends on the weather and the soil nutrient as well as other elements for survival. It is called Interdependence and that’s how humans were structured to survive.
Life doesn't have to be a lonely road, find that person who will walk with you, taking you through the right paths. Let someone in; it will shock you how much others can relate with your situation or how much ignorant they are, whichever way, there’s always that someone who understands. You don’t have to waste time wondering in that maze, when you have people who have gone through it successfully.
Seek counsel and find your way. No matter how bad it is, always remember that you are not alone.
Proverb 27:17
By Fidelia Ben-Udi
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Thank you.
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