Growing out of the love fallacies

Defining love *Part 3

If love was just about feelings, the most emotional persons would have the best of it.
 If it was about fame, the Hollywood, Nollywood and Bollywood celebrities would have the best part. 
If it was about money, the Dangotes and Gates would buy it all up
If it was about words, orators would have all the love in the world, 
If it was about beauty, the most beautiful girls would have the most loving husbands, and family members. 

Defining love * Part 2

Defining love * Part 2
 
Yesterday…

John spoke to me and I had butterflies in my tummy 
I think I love him
I saw Cherry and I felt my heart leap
I think I love her

Today…
Tuned spoke so well today at my party, and his gift was second to none
I think I love him
Lola cooked me an awesome meal today
I can’t stop thinking about her
I think I love her

Defining Love* Part 1

So it’s ‘cupid’s’ week uh...and      I’m guessing a lot of folks have

 already been shot by his arrows in readiness for the love filled season...cute time of the year.Well much as I love this season, my concerns have been growing year after year and I feel like I need to share.

I definitely believe cupid is a myth and nothing more but for those who believe otherwise, tell me; does cupid usually take back his arrow after valentine's day? Does this archer retrieve his arrows at will after they’ve been shot at humans? Are there substandard arrows?  I’m wondering because I always thought the arrow was to stay in the heart for ever just like in the case of Romeo and Juliet to foster unending love.

                               YOUR FAITH decides YOUR FATE

The world we live in today is encompassed by so many challenges from natural disasters to man-made  disasters; the economy is unstable and in fact experiencing a down turn season, people are running helter shelter, migrating from one country to another, seeking solution and refuge in countries that need solutions themselves. What then is really the solution? Where is the place of refuge?

In terms of a geographical location, it doesn’t look like there is a solution or a place of refuge; however, there is a gift that has been made available to all of mankind- Faith, the key to surviving the times. Unfortunately, many look it in search for something more dramatic and more rational in approach. 

Fidel's Frank Talk: It isn’t really that big of a deal…just follow clo...

Fidel's Frank Talk: It isn’t really that big of a deal…just follow clo...: Have you ever wondered why children are hardly ever sad, tired or quiet? Well I can’t completely say, but I believe it’s mostly because the...

Fidel's Frank Talk: It isn’t really that big of a deal…just follow clo...

Fidel's Frank Talk: It isn’t really that big of a deal…just follow clo...: Have you ever wondered why children are hardly ever sad, tired or quiet? Well I can’t completely say, but I believe it’s mostly because the...

It isn’t really that big of a deal…just follow closely

Have you ever wondered why children are hardly ever sad, tired or quiet? Well I can’t completely say, but I believe it’s mostly because they have little or no cares. When they are hurt, they cry without considering the stares or what goes on in the minds of those staring, they don’t care! When they are happy, they jump, laugh, play … they express themselves regardless. 

But growing up now, into adolescence and teenage hood, that is no longer the case, as things have changed and are still changing. Now, we have a reputation to protect, Lol. Depression can set in, sadness over a bad argument with a friend, worry over exam results, excitement over going to school and other things that seemed odd as a child.  Our emotions didn’t change, but actually our priorities did, our taste and common sense of how the world should operate as against how it actually does. We are on the way to maturity.

The online dictionary tells us that to be mature is to be fully developed in mind and body. Hence “adulthood is the period in the human lifespan in which full physical and intellectual maturity have been attained” (Britannica for kids).  Physical maturity entails appropriate development in the physical parts of the body especially in the internal organs in such a way that an individual can fully perform major physical functions. Intellectual maturity on the other hand entails being able to make good decisions and make wise use of information based on the life’s experiences which have translated into some form of wisdom. This also applies one way or another to emotional and Spiritual maturity.
Our adolescence and teenage years are actually a transition, a journey into adulthood. So all we experience during this period are a miniature of the real thing, more like internship. At this stage, learning should be at its peak as it is for interns. Ironically, rebellion is at its peak also, as well as nonchalance and the ‘know-it-all’ attitude among so many others. This is basically because we are trying to adjust to system change, new responsibilities and we really don’t know where we belong, as we are torn between childhood and adulthood. 

So what is the key to a successful transition?
Is it even possible? Yes it is. Now that doesn’t mean there will be no scars along the way,  it only means that the scars won’t be in vain because you would have learned some lessons and  that accidents are minimized so that the whole essence of  teen hood is maximized. That is a successful transition. 

So when you are confused because everything is changing and you don’t understand why you are moody or irritated; be calm and know that it’s a process, it won’t last forever. Hence, make the most of every opportunity as the outcome would either give you a star or a scar. When your emotions begin to go hay wire, 

Seek to understand; understand the much you can about yourself, where you are and where you are going. Understanding comes by

Knowledge. Ever learning… Willingness and patience to learn plus effort always leave you smarter. The more challenges you successfully handle, the smarter you get and the smarter you get, the more of an adult you become and ultimately, the more responsible. Never stop learning. 

Here’s a little story I read, to buttress my point: 
Once upon a time, I slipped on a wet tile floor, a boy on wheel chair caught me before I slammed my head on the ground. He said, “believe it or not, that’s almost exactly how I injured my back 3 years ago.
 There’s always someone who has been there before you. Observe, Ask and Learn in preparation for the rainy day.

Every child, adolescent or teenager, no matter how tiny today, would have a story of transition to adulthood someday God willing, but what’s important is what we are able to take from our growing up years that can make adulthood an interesting and desirable season rather than a burdensome one, because ready or not, it will come. How ready are the teenage and youthful muscles to take on adulthood? There are already too many irresponsible and immature adults out there; I don’t imagine anyone wants to make that list.
As you grow up, and begin to understand, you must make it a point of duty to learn continuously, develop your intellect, emotions and Spirit. Learn to apply your experience and knowledge gained, appropriately and I’m sure you would have a successful transition.

James 1:5

Written by Fidelia Ben-Udi