A huge paradigm shift

Compliments of the season guys.

It's the last few days of the year and now's the time when people begin to craft out new resolutions for themselves that they hope to engage in the new year. 
Well personally, I have nothing against new year resolutions long as they are born out of deep convictions and not just routines. 

Anyways i have a suggestion to make as to what your new year resolution should include. Thats is; to break through limitations and open up to great paradigm shifts. One of these shifts would be the shift of our minds from the place of slavery to suite our independent status. 

We are a black nation who were once slaves, but not any more. Unfortunately, too many of us assumed this status of freedom only in our bodies, not in our minds;

The Good Rebellion part 2

Mindless Bureaucracy must go!


File A signed by Boss 1
Sent to boss 2

Boss 3 corrects and gives to secretary
Secretary effects correction and returns to boss 2
Boss two sends to boss 1 
And that may just be the beginning!

Organized and built to function well 
Seamless and a brilliant idea
Except of course for the corruption that now hides underneath its seams
A huge time waster it has become
Feet dragging causing all to move at snail speed
What is this bundle of organized wreck?
That hinders progress 
And makes one sweat beneath an air conditioner  
How come so much work is put in with minimum output
How did we get stuck in this time killing, energy sapping and development crippling system?

Get me right, 
It was meant to be good and it was good
Made the system work effectively 
But it isn’t anymore
At least not in its original state
Why can’t we just upgrade already?
It’s the technological age 
Why crawl when we can fly 
Why adhere religiously to rules and regulations that have outlived their essence? 
Why do the right thing at snail speed allowing room for it to be contaminated
At this rate, my grand kids may grow grey expecting progress

Change begins with me, I knoooow!
But remember that for change to be effective, leaders both in the public and private sectors must engineer it at their various levels
Levels that I may not be able to affect yet
It’s a combined efforts you know
So if I’m asked, i'd say, let’s do away with that which no longer works
And make effective that which produces quality results
Transform the hard dusty files into soft intangible one
To hell with these boring unproductive procedures that leave one retardarded 
Why do the same thing over and over again expecting different results each time
Agreed this is just a part of our challenges
But believe me, it’s a huge part. 
Give one senseless man too much power and he holds the whole system to ransom 
It cannot be as it was in the beginning any more
If what worked in the beginning doesn’t work anymore,
We must be brave enough to move on
For we can’t put new wine in old wine skins

A new age demands new methodologies







Written by Fidelia Ben-Udi

The Good Rebellion

Part 1

The quest

       

Deep deep deep, I like
Shallow shallow, I dislike
Open minded people, on point 
Rigid paradigms, very faulty
I have grown weary of the circle 
A circumference of meaningless repetitions
As it was in the beginning so shall it ever be
Says who? Why?

Haven’t you heard?
Nothing means anything except the meaning you attach to it
But until your mind receives revelation the real definition of meaning doesn’t exist

Doesn’t anyone bother to ask why?
Isn’t that the reason we have brains?
But no, we don’t ask
We would rather not
So we keep up the monotonous circle
With same results in view
Same results that have kept us stunted
Same results that have deprived us of so much
Yet we stick to the status quo
For fear of being tagged ‘rebel’ 
For fear of making mistakes
When already we live in a pool of them

Meaning cannot be inherited
We must find meaning for ourselves
But until our minds receive revelation, the real definition of meaning doesn’t exist

The day we summon up the courage to challenge this pattern 
Is the day we start to live
It’s the day we start to learn 
It’s the day we start to understand and to grow deep
Grow firm because then, we would have real answers
Not carved solely from someone else’ experience
But also from our own encounters and personal revelations
The ones we experience and grasp 
For what is revealed to us remains ours

Anthony Robins said
"Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give to it"
But until your mind receives revelation the real definition of meaning doesn’t exist

We must attach meaning 
So we can go passed the shallow  
And dig deep for ourselves
Test all that we have received 
Seperate that which is false from that which is true
Discard what’s false and stand firmer in the truth  
Then with open eyes and clear mind
Bring meaning to this circumference of life
It shouldn’t be just a circumference after all.  
Rather, one full of the meaning we discovered ourselves
The meaning you discover is that you are willing to stand by 
That you are willing to stand by must be your own revelation
For Nothing means anything thing except you attach to it a meaning by revelation
Grab the meaning out of life!

By Fidelia Ben-Udi 
      

The Lion and the Gazelle...wake up! Nigerian youth

We live in a generation that bears so much knowledge, one in which kids are super smart and have access to all sorts of smart gadgets, an era of continuous evolution with so much at our disposal… In these times, the competition is high; however, everyone stands a fair chance of survival. But the question is, “will you survive?”

“With each new day in Africa, a gazelle wakes up knowing he must outrun the fastest lion or perish. At the same time, a lion stirs and stretches, knowing he must outrun the fastest gazelle or starve.- Mohammed Bin Rashid Al maktoum 

I like to see this quote as a perfect illustration of our predicament as humans, as I like to see it as a contest between us humans and our numerous challenges. However, we are much stronger and a lot more agile than they, being endowed with a mind so powerful and elastic it can take much more than we have the ability to gather in a life time. Unfortunately, we don’t realize it, hence the possibility of a defeat. So we sit and complain and cower in fear or sheer laziness giving room for our challenges to overwhelm us… Guys, this is the survival of the fittest. Life is not necessarily interested in being fair to you, but you can command it to… 

We take in our environment; at school, at work, on the street, on the internet and everywhere but here’s my question; what do we do with all we get? How do we sieve and how do we maximize the residue? Because we must! It would be a shame to have access to so much, yet be of no consequence in these times of massive opportunities. Everyone carries a solution and when things start getting though, it is probably time to look into your tool box in readiness to fix it because you can!
Its recession guys, our food security is being threatened; talk more of clothing and shelter but I say, it’s the best time ever because in these times I have seen how resourceful  governments can be, how motivated individuals can be…the thought of waking up and not having a decent meal is motivation enough. But far beyond food, should be the need to make a difference, make things happen...That’s why I believe that this is just what we need as it would help us take our eyes off the external and focus on the internal!

There is gold everywhere. I mean gold! Probably buried in a pile of dirt. But instead of us getting on our knees with our hands buried in the dirt in search for something genuine, we would rather wear trendy clothes and shoes parading ourselves as big boys who do nothing but depend helplessly on someone who won’t be there forever. What will it profit a young man if he wears the trendiest on an empty stomach resulting from dry pockets, in turn resulting from highly underutilized brains leading to zero influence? You don’t want to wake up one day only to realize somewhere in the middle of your life that you at point zero influence/control. Now is time to act!

If you are still sleeping, I suggest   you wake up right away, open your eyes and look! Look around you, dig into the dirt if you must, until your hand finds something of worth, something to contribute to life while you gradually but perpetually disable the giants that threaten our peace, progress and stability. Get up! Do something and stop wasting away, polish what you already have and make a difference. An academic certificate these days isn’t a big deal. It’s good but just isn’t enough anymore. How many of us who have certificates work with them? How many of those certificates are genuine? Does having a certificate secure for you a future? Well it may give you a better chance, an opportunity to succeed but never solely gives a secure place of satisfaction and purpose or even wealth. So to your academics add a skill. 

You want to be fulfilled; find your field and plough

You want to be secure; build your own bars of iron 

You want to be wealthy; then create your own wealth, the Midas touch is in your hands. Stop the blame game and get responsible!

You want to add value; just do it already for you have the mind of the creator himself! 

If pastor Nick Vujicic with no hands and no legs can do something, then you must realize that all that you need is in you. God didn’t give us money at birth, He gave us brains and hands to produce whatever our brains have the capacity to hold. It may need a little tweaking but no idea is stupid, bring them all to the table and let’s make a total mockery of mediocrity. Now think guys, search, there must be something upstairs that the hands can handle. You have all it takes to sour even in a recession.

Written by Fidelia Ben-Udi

A letter from a Fallen Hero to the Nigerian youth today

Dear child, I write you this letter because of how much I love you. You are young and full of life, restless and in need of some action but watch it. Watch it, I tell you, for you are about to destroy all I lived and died for, you are about to sacrifice your life on the alter that no longer exits, you are about to be cut short in the prime of your life, you are about to leave your kids orphaned, your wives widows and your parents childless for a concluded cause. 

You take this too far, and that is because you didn’t see the war! If you did, you would do everything to stop any further reoccurrence. I fought and do you know that I lost some of my loved ones? I and my colleagues had reason to mourn over sons, daughters, fathers, mothers and siblings before we finally joined them. I felt raw pain. It wasn’t funny; sometimes we had to take up our alms and fight even on hungry stomachs, we often had to lie in muddy pits and trenches crawling with warms and all manner of rodents, we had to see our friends fall in battle and I tell you, if we could do anything to stop it or turn back the hands of time, we would have. But alas! It was too late. So we fought on till we had to stop and when we did? We couldn’t rejoice that the war was over because of the devastation. We could only hope that our children and future generations would have a more peaceful existence as they build in unity. We took solace in the fact that we had cleared the way for you. 

So now, tell me; are you trying to make our sacrifice of no effect? Are you trying to reopen old wounds that we struggled so hard to burry? What are you trying to do? With your strength and intellect, modern facilities and all manner of technologies available to you, you can chat a different cause; one that is indeed noble, one born out of love for your fellow brothers regardless of what names they bear or tribes they represent. Not a cause born out of hate, un-forgiveness or the feeling of deprivation and oppression. Look at it, everyone member of this great country suffers one challenge or the other, isn’t it unfair to think that you suffer the most and become insensitive to the sufferings of others? But imagine if we were all to rise and fight to overcome our challenges rather than fighting ourselves; no matter how diverse, our unity will grow from strength to strength as we harness all our resources to make one great nation. We only need to be one people with one cause and with God on our side; rising is a sure thing for us.  What would happen to the strength and solace that we found in the company of each other when we choose to see our differences as a plague rather than a blessing? Remember that the brothers that have misunderstandings more often are usually the ones that end up being the closest. Why not give your immaturities, faults and misunderstandings time to be worked out till your friendship gets to the place called ‘closest ’. He is different from you because he is not you, and even if you had a twin brother, he would never be you. Our differences are the very things that make us eligible to be called humans and live with each other. You want to be comfortable and safe? I won’t stop you but think it through again, there is always the right way to go about things. 

What you have now, may not be the best, but it sure is better than what you’ll get if you fight the way I believe you intend. However, if you would endure and build with your brothers, you will definitely have something better than you imagined. Let your name go down into history as one that made a positive contribution to your land, as one who stood for peace even when it wasn’t trendy, as one who lived and let others live.

Indeed, there is no war without peace, but there are better ways to fight a war than with harsh words and ammunitions, especially when I and my comrades have finished the war and laid the foundation for peace. Now, it’s time to build. Build with everything you’ve got, for that is the reason God made you a Nigerian. He put in you just the right amount and quality of muscles that Nigeria needs to whether these storms, so arise above ethnicity and individual differences for we have only one cause- to serve our father land with love, strength and faith. We are a nation under God and in His strength we rise and we build! 

HAVE YOU MET ME?

Yes! I may not have the best functioning home 

I may not have so much money yet 
 I may not look so pretty                                                    
And I may not even be so smart 
            But I am me!
I don’t have your home, you brains or your looks 
But that’s simply because I Am Me ... The Best Ever!

I used to feel down, like I was odd and out of place in the midst of people. I thought every other person had a perfect life, I always wanted to be someone else until I had the chance to catch a glimpse of what their lives really were…

Kevwe  was pretty as a diva, had the carriage of a duchess, and pulled a crowd wherever she went. She seemed to have it all and though she was my friend, I avoided being close to her because I felt like a speck of dust standing beside her…I felt insignificant! Then one day I heard her say “if only I had a happy home like yours…” wow! 


Then I met Sonia … she was beautiful and wild, not afraid to take on the world and I thought “if only I was this bold and beautiful” until she sat face to face with me and said “you are beautiful, I love your eyes”. She was off the next minute but I stopped to ponder…she didn’t have any reason to want to flatter me so was she serious?

Well then, there was Dubem…he could sing for Africa! And I thought "I love to sing but will I ever be able to sing like Dubem?" My voice was too tiny and fragile, or so I thought, till I saw a replica of what I had despised, winning a music competition...

That was when it dawned on me that no one has it all. We all have something to be proud of as well as something we are not so proud of. The only difference is that they are fitted to suit our peculiarities and some people do a good job trying to hide their imperfections such that you only see the ‘perfections’. 
At this point, I had to call myself to order after some deep thinking … let’s assume I could become like all these people what would that make me? The second best of an imperfect being? That simply isn’t not good enough!  

Come to think of it, I had always been too busy checking other people out, I never really took the time to look at me.  So I paused to take a long look at me and instantly, I saw beyond my clothes, my shyness, my clumsiness to the real me, one who has all it takes to be content with being me. 

It was an awesome discovery for me. So I sat, and began to carefully polish the me I saw, so others could begin to see me too and I realized I could be anything I wanted. I realized how much people craved for my specific voice texture, only when I began to use it. Then I paid attention to my eyes and I could see what Sonia saw, I began to appreciate my family more regardless. And guess what, it boosted my confidence to know that I love what I have, and if people can’t appreciate it, then they must either be blind,  insensitive, or just myopic. Either ways, it’s their problem, not mine. Now, I am much more comfortable with me, just as I am; with or without make up, with or without a crowd of followers, amidst all kinds of opinions, I am unperturbed because this is me learning to live life being authentic, being who God made me to be. This is me not having to do jack, let alone trash, to gain someone's approval because I realize, my own approval is more important after all.






This is a tribute to those still living in the shadows of others, still struggling with inferiority complex. You are special and your world needs what you’ve got. Don’t hide it under mediocrity.

By Fidelia Ben-Udi

 

HAVE YOU MET ME?

Yes! I may not have the best functioning home 

I may not have so much money yet 
 I may not look so pretty                                                    
And I may not even be so smart 
            But I am me!
I don’t have your home, you brains or your looks 
But that’s simply because I Am Me ... The Best Ever!

I used to feel down, like I was odd and out of place in the midst of people. I thought every other person had a perfect life, I always wanted to be someone else until I had the chance to catch a glimpse of what their lives really were…

Kevwe  was pretty as a diva, had the carriage of a duchess, and pulled a crowd wherever she went. She seemed to have it all and though she was my friend, I avoided being close to her because I felt like a speck of dust standing beside her…I felt insignificant! Then one day I heard her say “if only I had a happy home like yours…” wow! 


Then I met Sonia … she was beautiful and wild, not afraid to take on the world and I thought “if only I was this bold and beautiful” until she sat face to face with me and said “you are beautiful, I love your eyes”. She was off the next minute but I stopped to ponder…she didn’t have any reason to want to flatter me so was she serious?

Well then, there was Dubem…he could sing for Africa! And I thought "I love to sing but will I ever be able to sing like Dubem?" My voice was too tiny and fragile, or so I thought, till I saw a replica of what I had despised, winning a music competition...

That was when it dawned on me that no one has it all. We all have something to be proud of as well as something we are not so proud of. The only difference is that they are fitted to suit our peculiarities and some people do a good job trying to hide their imperfections such that you only see the ‘perfections’. 
At this point, I had to call myself to order after some deep thinking … let’s assume I could become like all these people what would that make me? The second best of an imperfect being? That simply isn’t not good enough!  

Come to think of it, I had always been too busy checking other people out, I never really took the time to look at me.  So I paused to take a long look at me and instantly, I saw beyond my clothes, my shyness, my clumsiness to the real me, one who has all it takes to be content with being me. 

It was an awesome discovery for me. So I sat, and began to carefully polish the me I saw, so others could begin to see me too and I realized I could be anything I wanted. I realized how much people craved for my specific voice texture, only when I began to use it. Then I paid attention to my eyes and I could see what Sonia saw, I began to appreciate my family more regardless. And guess what, it boosted my confidence to know that I love what I have, and if people can’t appreciate it, then they must either be blind,  insensitive, or just myopic. Either ways, it’s their problem, not mine. Now, I am much more comfortable with me, just as I am; with or without make up, with or without a crowd of followers, amidst all kinds of opinions, I am unperturbed because this is me learning to live life being authentic, being who God made me to be. This is me not having to do jack, let alone trash, to gain someone's approval because I realize, my own approval is more important after all.






This is a tribute to those still living in the shadows of others, still struggling with inferiority complex. You are special and your world needs what you’ve got. Don’t hide it under mediocrity.

By Fidelia Ben-Udi

 

HAVE YOU MET ME?

Yes! I may not have the best functioning home 

I may not have so much money yet 
 I may not look so pretty                                                    
And I may not even be so smart 
            But I am me!
I don’t have your home, you brains or your looks 
But that’s simply because I Am Me ... The Best Ever!

I used to feel down, like I was odd and out of place in the midst of people. I thought every other person had a perfect life, I always wanted to be someone else until I had the chance to catch a glimpse of what their lives really were…

Kevwe  was pretty as a diva, had the carriage of a duchess, and pulled a crowd wherever she went. She seemed to have it all and though she was my friend, I avoided being close to her because I felt like a speck of dust standing beside her…I felt insignificant! Then one day I heard her say “if only I had a happy home like yours…” wow! 


Then I met Sonia … she was beautiful and wild, not afraid to take on the world and I thought “if only I was this bold and beautiful” until she sat face to face with me and said “you are beautiful, I love your eyes”. She was off the next minute but I stopped to ponder…she didn’t have any reason to want to flatter me so was she serious?

Well then, there was Dubem…he could sing for Africa! And I thought "I love to sing but will I ever be able to sing like Dubem?" My voice was too tiny and fragile, or so I thought, till I saw a replica of what I had despised, winning a music competition...

That was when it dawned on me that no one has it all. We all have something to be proud of as well as something we are not so proud of. The only difference is that they are fitted to suit our peculiarities and some people do a good job trying to hide their imperfections such that you only see the ‘perfections’. 
At this point, I had to call myself to order after some deep thinking … let’s assume I could become like all these people what would that make me? The second best of an imperfect being? That simply isn’t not good enough!  

Come to think of it, I had always been too busy checking other people out, I never really took the time to look at me.  So I paused to take a long look at me and instantly, I saw beyond my clothes, my shyness, my clumsiness to the real me, one who has all it takes to be content with being me. 

It was an awesome discovery for me. So I sat, and began to carefully polish the me I saw, so others could begin to see me too and I realized I could be anything I wanted. I realized how much people craved for my specific voice texture, only when I began to use it. Then I paid attention to my eyes and I could see what Sonia saw, I began to appreciate my family more regardless. And guess what, it boosted my confidence to know that I love what I have, and if people can’t appreciate it, then they must either be blind,  insensitive, or just myopic. Either ways, it’s their problem, not mine. Now, I am much more comfortable with me, just as I am; with or without make up, with or without a crowd of followers, amidst all kinds of opinions, I am unperturbed because this is me learning to live life being authentic, being who God made me to be. This is me not having to do jack, let alone trash, to gain someone's approval because I realize, my own approval is more important after all.






This is a tribute to those still living in the shadows of others, still struggling with inferiority complex. You are special and your world needs what you’ve got. Don’t hide it under mediocrity.

By Fidelia Ben-Udi

 

Under The Light

Have you ever had a wound and decided to cover it up immediately without airing it? Have you seen what happens? Yeah right! It gets soft, begins to fester with gems and before long, starts to get rotten. Now that is a really terrible thing as it could result in amputation or death worst still, which no one prays for.  But the thing is we don’t always have to pray for things before they happen, es

Under The Light

Have you ever had a wound and decided to cover it up immediately without airing it? Have you seen what happens? Yeah right! It gets soft, begins to fester with gems and before long, starts to get rotten. Now that is a really terrible thing as it could result in amputation or death worst still, which no one prays for.  But the thing is we don’t always have to pray for things before they happen, es

As flowers in the attic

They were as flowers in the attic
Lovely, young and innocent
But they were abandoned, uncatered for, no light, no water, soil was failing
Their only hope as it were, was more interested in chasing after the wealth of a prospective boo
She had lost her stable source, her beau, to the cruel hands of death
She could have been all they had, but she too was dead to them and those adorable flowers...they had no one
They fed on what they could find, played with what they could find and were everything to each other.
Oh, how they longed for light, how they long to play in the rain and run wild in the field
How they longed for friends, but no. They were stuck in the attic!
They, elder ones; a he and a she, played father and mother through sickness, sadness and hunger 
The younger ones; a he and a she, played kids, because they were really little
They all wondered when their nightmare was going to end...
So it was, that weeks grew into months and months to years, yet there was no hope.
Then father and mother figure began to think and work together to make an escape.
And as they worked, there was determination, synchrony, but then, there was also a fatal attraction...they realised there was something happening in their bodies, they couldn't quiet understand.  

She looked more beautiful, he looked more handsome, hormones were allover the place with no one to give understanding, no one to express to but themselves.
So they had played mother and father to their little siblings, carried out every single responsibility of a parent, why not this?
Then it began, they two, same blood, cleaved and became one.
Now they had become 'children of the devil' as it was said, but they didn't mind.
It felt so good and with time, it became normal
After all they were both mother and father
Thus, these flowers in the attic lost their glow, their pride and humanity, but were resolved to escape. 
With one dead, and others sick, they finally did escape from the attic.
Wounded from inside out, that large feastering wound of a taboo on their conscience 
Who could they run to, who would heal the wounds that ran deep beneath the skin right into the fabrics of their being?
What could be done about this contaminated blood line?
They were as flowers in the attic.

Extracted from the movie "flowers in the attic"

Questions
1. What is this story about?
2. How much do think this is affecting society?
3. Do you have stories to share? Please do
4. What is your proposed solution/approach?
5. Any lessons?

Written by Fidelia Ben-Udi

Very Urgent! Something every leader should know at this time.

Walking along the road one day, a sharp question was dropped in my mind “what if you woke up tomorrow and realized that the government has failed- No salaries, no food security, no power, no guarantee of basic facilities and amenities. What would you do?” It was so strong; I pondered on it and realized I had actually put my other sources of income on hold since I got a job because of time constraint. But what was worse was that I had stopped thinking about a certain aspect of the future, a certain aspect of posterity. I had stopped projecting in those lines and now I feel a certain sense of urgency to do what must be done. 

Have you ever woken up one day to realize there was no hope of eating through out the day? Not because you are fasting. Have you ever been without a single coin in your pocket for a whole week? Well it is easy not to think about that and hope that it never happens but what if it does?  Have you taken a good look at the environment, the happenings around? Have you seen the news? Have you perceived anything at all? If you have, what have you done about it? Maybe most of us who are still under our parents still believe they are magicians that would provide everything just by the wave of a wand. Or maybe we are waiting for the government? Well there are some things we can help ourselves with as individuals and if we don’t, we would feel the brunt more. 

For me, I have perceived a lot of things and the strongest of these perceptions in recent times is that a famine may be lurking around the corner. Hold on, I’m not a prophet of doom. But you can call me one if you think what happened during Joseph’s time in Egypt is just a fable. But I’d rather see myself as one who has a strong sense of projection based on deep perceptions. 

I’m not a farmer; neither do I know much about agriculture. But I see a lot of Nigerians resorting to farming. In my community presently, the average resident is a farmer of some sort. I see youths going into farming and I’m so excited. As a matter of fact I’m getting involved soon.  And you know what’s most interesting? A lot of the produce is being cultivated organically because we have fertile soils and healthy ecological systems and more people are becoming more aware of the dangers of inorganic farming especially when done inappropriately.

Good as this development is, I’m bothered about one other aspect of farming; STORAGE! We have had farmers for years, even when a vast majority shifted to white collar jobs, there was still a large number of farmers (small and large scale). However, I don’t see any storage facilities today and the plans seem to be taking forever. We mostly just plant, sell and eat up immediately.  There is need to take it a step further because according to the UN Secretary General, Ban Ki-Moon, “in a world of plenty, no one, not a single person should go hungry. But almost 1 billion still do not have enough to eat… ”  We all have a part to play. It is possible, but how?

The government may have a plan but like the question “what if the government fails? This is a call to youths and teenagers to show that we can indeed be leaders, to begin to think deeper. Don’t wait for the $250 million investment in food storage in Nigeria promised by the US to materialize first. Even if it’s in progress already, beauracracy may not allow it get to you and I on time. Well my point is, we should forget about being spoon fed and Spend time more on constructive chats and issues. Let every family begin to think of their immediate sustenance in the times ahead. Maybe if we think deeply enough, we would get an idea for sustainability of the entire nation and delve into other sectors too. But think about it, what would you do if you woke up one morning and there’s no food in sight probably for the whole week? Trust me, you would find anything to do in order to get food because hunger is a nasty situation. Stop wasting time on unprofitable things. Please read and act. 

If you have any ideas in this direction, feel free to share.
#food security

By Fidelia Ben-Udi
Make hay while the sun shines!

ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE, IT IS THAT BIG OF A DEAL!

Let me start this write up in pidgin English “na you wan sell, na you dey do guy, who you help?” I have my money, I can go wherever I like. I don’t have an obligation to patronize you.

You see, when the customer care service of an organization is a write off with hostile or less than friendly staff, it is a big deal because I really don’t know why they exist in the first place. Unfortunately, we find them everywhere; in the banks, shopping malls, private firms, government palatals and of course in the market place. I have often felt like walking away without achieving my purpose of visiting a customer help desk as in one experience I had with a certain popular bank; I needed to make a withdrawal urgently but I couldn’t because all efforts to get my ATM card from the said bank had proved abortive for no good reason. I however desperately needed to make the withdrawal so I went to the customer care stand. First, she couldn’t even manage a smile; second, it was like I was more of an intruder than a customer. I didn’t mind much, so I went on to carry out her counsel which meant I had to meet another staff of the bank. On getting upstairs, my warm hello was met with a very stern look like the ‘can’t you see I’m busy’ look. I was desperate so I went ahead and stated my reasons for appearing before her uninvited but she totally ignored me and kept on with her business. I just stood there wondering… until (by coincidence) the first person that attended to me down stairs came up and (to my surprise) asked if I had been attended to. Only then did the lady turn to her colleague and ask in a condescending tone “what is her issue”? I was dumb founded and totally felt like a kid who didn’t possess the ability to express herself. I might have blown up (the former me, I would have brought down the whole banking hall with my wahala) but I thought, two wrongs never make a right. So I put a lid on it, walked out of the scene, then thought of an alternative to solve my problem rather than rely on a bunch of hostile and untrained individuals. What they didn’t know was that they just helped me finalize my decision to close down my account with them that day, being that this wasn’t my first experience. 

Has it ever crossed your mind that people always have alternatives? Well may be not immediately, but push them hard enough to the wall and they would create their own alternatives sooner than you think. Every sales man or customer care personnel should see his or her position as a privileged one. Attending to people’s needs and concerns especially as it touches your business or area of expertise is an opportunity everyone should rather be grateful for,  handling it with care, more politely than arrogantly. 

I once heard of a certain government official who served years ago and had to face an endless queue of contractors waiting for payments and other individuals needing assistance; it was said, that never once did a sad or angry man go in and come out the same. Not because he always had the money to give them, but because he had a warm personality and knew how to genuinely appeal to people’s emotions. Not because he couldn’t afford to be arrogant but he had understanding. So rather than create a scene and have all manner of people bad mouthing him and sabotaging his efforts, he played the humane role and had people come out of his office smiling and hopeful even when their request was not granted. I’m not talking about politicizing; I’m talking about a genuine rapport with people. It’s just the way we humans are wired; to crave physical and emotional comfort / satisfaction. As long as you have chosen to render services to people, it really doesn’t matter how upset you are or how manner less, careless and untrained you maybe. All that matters is that you deliver on the job. But where it has become too much of a priority to pet your ego, or sulk over underpayment and express the level of your insensitivity, then you may very well stay at home. At least when customers don’t find you, they’ll return another day to check up on you but when you drive them away with your attitude, they will consciously advise themselves to get an alternative.  

Customer service according to study.com, is the act of taking care of the customer’s needs by providing and delivering professional, helpful, high quality service and assistance before, during and after requirements are met. The outcome of every transaction largely depends on the quality of customer service. Personally, I would rather patronize someone whose goods are more expensive but has a warm and persuasive persona in handling the transaction then one who sells cheap but with a stinking attitude. Charity, they say, begins at home. If it’s an attitude problem, find a way to deal with it from the root, if it is a momentary challenge, apply the customer care persona, it always works. Pretend to be it or be it for real, long as you get your job done, it’s all that really matters in this case.
Whether as a banker or a market woman, one major branding goal should be to make profitable sales and build integrity if you must keep your clientele. A satisfied client has no reason to desire a change. But satisfaction goes beyond just throwing the right goods and services at the customer, to offering it satisfactorily, after all, there is a saying that ‘customer is king’ so how do you serve a king? Assuming your service were to be a meal; don’t you think it would be more presentable and dignifying to not just make it sumptuous but to put it in a clean tray alongside water to drink, wash and a napkin to dry out the hands while you have on a genuine smile? How do you think such a customer would feel? Like a king! If not for the taste (quality) of the food (goods), for the feeling of regard and acceptance felt (customer service), he would definitely think of coming back, let alone when the taste is great too. 

One question you should ask yourself often is; why am I here? 
To 
This will help to keep you focused. Another question is, if I fail, who stands to lose? they who have the money and a variety of places they can get the same services from, or the sales man who needs to sell off his goods before they expire or go out of fashion and become irrelevant in the business? Let’s even assume that somehow, customers are stuck with you, what happens to the place of integrity in building your businesses and other relationships? We all (merchants and customers alike) need to be careful in the way we relate with people, be conscious of the signals we are sending them and constantly reevaluate our values. 

 Nigeria, you must hear this! Strive for excellence, it doesn’t kill. We have all it takes to do better than most countries in the world but we would rather seek out short cuts and quick gratification. That must stop. Greatness is built over time, one step at a time, with integrity, diligence, consistency and patience. That’s how people come about posterity in business and life generally. This very important strategy may be all you need to be in business longer and better than McDonalds or Guinness, Coca-Kola and the rest of them. It’s not magic, trust me. 
Are you a banker, a market woman, a mall, hotel or restaurant attendant, a single lady waiting to be found, a single guy looking out for Miss. right, or even a boss desiring staff cooperation, a subordinate expecting a cordial relationship … we are all business men and women of different sorts and it would amaze you to know how much of your clientele you can retain for as long as you are in business, with the right attitude. 

There is no substitute for the right attitude; not money, power, position…nothing! The guide line to caution ourselves would be to treat others how you would want to be treated. Acquiring professional skills may cost you a worthy fortune however, being nice and polite is as effective yet, doesn’t cost a thing, on the contrary, it adds to you in ways you may not immediately realize. Your attitude is not a product of what people do to you, it is a product of whom you really are (whom you’ve built yourself into be over time).  Your customer care service could be your signature secret, don’t trivialize it. 

By Fidelia Ben-Udi

Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well.