What is the worst that could happen?

Lonely road; Part  3

Once upon a time, I was a naïve and gullible teenager. However, it didn’t stop me from getting into the university or growing up and mixing up with people (I guess it’s both the price and prize that comes along with living). I was worried because I knew how easily I could be swayed, more so because it was time to get into the university (the larger world, as they called it), constituted of a massive variety of human behaviors and character. I was so scared of the outcome of peer pressure on me, scared I would get mixed up in the wrong crowd, and at the same time, scared I’ll end up replicating my boring college life in the university. I was just living sacred, so for the first two years of my stay in school, I decided to mind my business. I was pretty much isolated, highly reserved (I even got an award for it) and extremely careful and picky about those I mixed with. 

At a point however, I realized that I was keeping the good crowd away as much as I was keeping the bad crowd away, I was being over protective of myself, and then, I knew it was time to take the huge leap. I didn’t know how, neither did I know what direction to leap in, but I knew I had to. 

• I was so scared of letting people in and getting committed to them in any way and I really didn’t know what to do about it so I just prayed and asked God for the right friends. Funny, but that was all I could do and I believe it helped a great deal.

 So now, I was mentally ready, and soon, I began to discover people I naturally connected with (sometimes, just because they were nice or because we had something in common). So I got rid of the fear of rejection and fear of being wrong, I decided to trust my instincts about these people in line with what I wanted for myself and what I saw in my future. So for the rest of the two years I stayed in school, I got more involved with people, I became more open, more receptive, more accommodating and more tolerant (now that can’t be easy, but in life, we have to be deliberate with just about anything). I can’t tell you that it was easy, because I bumped into a number of difficult people and bad company, I probably got hurt on a few occasions, but what I saw in my future always pulled me away from them right after I had learnt some more lessons to take with me on the journey through life. 

Then, there was the awesome number of those who turned out to be among the best things that ever happened to me in life. I got to make friends that I could trust, ones that I could count on and could count on me; they were those that shared the same values and sometimes, same visions with me. We didn’t always agree, sometimes we had bad quarrels but in the end, we became thicker together  because we found great company in each other on the road to the future we dreamed of. 

By the time I was graduating, I was so thankful for the quality of people I had in my life, most of which are still very prominent in my life and some of which would forever be. Either way, I could never regret my decision to take that huge leap. Besides, daring it has made me skilled in the art of figuring out the right crowd for me.

Note that I sometimes had to make the first move of friendship, at some other times, it just happened naturally and only a few times did people directly approach me for friendship. Now, among some of those I approached directly or indirectly, some snubbed me, some insulted me (mostly indirectly), and I felt really bad, but I couldn’t judge the whole bunch by one piece, so I kept trying. I would always ask myself; what is the worst that could happen? Answering that, makes it pretty clear what my next step should be.

Often times, we are kept back and held down by our fears so bad; we are deprived of so many awesome things. Rather than miss out on the good stuff in a bid to avoid the bad, it is better to be prepared to handle bad stuff when they come. You can do that by staying focused on your dream and putting to good use the few right people in your life. Everyone has someone at least.

You can’t stand it when people snub you? You can’t handle it when someone betrays you? You can’t afford to be judged? You can’t afford to make any mistakes? Then I’m sorry, but it means you can’t afford to make progress either. 
You will always need people as much as people would always need you so rather than stall for fear of whatever, just take that leap having in mind the picture of the future you dream of.  It’s alright to take the wrong turn but never alright to stay in it once you’ve realized. Life really doesn’t have to be a lonely road after all so in the words of Rachel Nolchin, I encourage you to “surround yourself with people that reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel, energies are contagious”.

Proverbs 13:20

By Fidelia Ben-Udi